Self-regulation of emotion requires us to manage our anger and fear. Fear is the result of the uncertainty we experience as the brain tries to predict the future as we navigate our way through life. Anger, on the other hand, is the brain's reaction to a sense of helplessness and injustice. Anger turns the tables by making us feel victimized and therefore just in our expression of a strong, often violent, emotion.
Both fear and anger short-circuit our rational thinking. Self-regulation is not about controlling the emotions that rule us by bottling them in. That's a fight we will lose when we can least afford to. Self-regulation is about understanding the causes of each emotion and defusing them through acceptance and analysis.
We are all works in progress. We need to work on ourselves.
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